Casual Dating advisor - part 4

Creating a fling environment

To put it generally: after a while, every relationship has certain rituals and a certain rhythm to it. A fling will change YOUR rhythm substantially. You must make sure, of course, that your long-term partner doesn't notice. Which is why you need to retain or create some space for yourself. In practice, that means:

You need to create some free time!

Have you always come back from work in time and have you always spent the weekend together? And suddenly you come home late or not at all because of "important meetings"? Nobody will believe you! Therefore: create some spare time for yourself during which it is difficult for your partner to keep an eye on you:

If you travel a lot on business, that's of course ideal. For example sales tours at home or abroad, further training courses (they are often held at weekends;-)), client visits, or perhaps you don't work in the same town that you live in. Based on this, you can fabricate as many "long meetings" and important appointments as you like.
Find new hobbies: gym, casual evening classes, meeting up with friends, a skiing trip with your circle of friends...
If you are a woman and your husband is away a lot, it's particularly easy for you.

Also create some financial space!

That's just as important as time. Because a fling often goes hand in hand with additional expenses such as going to a fancy restaurant, meetings in hotels, a weekend trip away with your new lover.

Put some cash to one side.

Create some low-key ways of being contacted!

Your partner sometimes answers your mobile or he or she could check your calls? You read your emails on your computer at home and you have saved the password on it too? Congratulations. You might as well confess everything right now!

But seriously, you mustn't do that. We recommend:

Get a pay-as-you-go SIM card for your mobile. You can pay for that using cash and hide it somewhere, for example in the lining of a glasses case or wallet.
Or get a second mobile phone for "private use". If your partner finds it, you have an excuse ready: "It belongs to a friend/colleague, who left it in the pub/in the office."
Set up a new email account. You don't access that via a client such as Outlook, but through a website. And don't do it at home. That way, you are covering your tracks. Free email accounts are available at for example HOTMAIL.

Continue with: advisor part 5: how to act with your regular partner