Casual Dating advisor - part 5

How to act with your regular partner

Your long-term partner knows you inside out! If you obviously change the way you act when you have a fling, suspicions will soon arise. Don't underestimate your main partner's sixth sense! Women in particular have an indefinable sixth sense when it comes to their dear husband's flings!

Stay normal!

Do what you always do! Don't change your behaviour one little bit. Any change will arouse suspicion - no matter which way it goes. If you've always been a grouch, then you mustn't suddenly become caring and compassionate! Particularly common mood changes are:
  • Being in a pathologically good mood, when you have only just got up for instance
  • Paying your regular partner either more or less attention
  • Or perhaps even giving presents to ease your conscience
  • Not wanting to have sex anymore, or acting differently in bed (If you've only ever practiced vanilla sex and suddenly suggest S&M practices that you've learnt with your lover, even the most blissfully ignorant spouse will start wondering what's going on...)
  • Pockets are always completely empty
  • You are using your mobile in a different way: it's either switched on or off more often than usual, you carry it around with you all the time, the ringer is off, it's set to vibrate...
Think of simple and plausible excuses in advance!

"In advance" is the operative word here! There is nothing more embarrassing and telltale than sudden nervousness, stuttering or a red face when you feel you have been caught. "Who is the text from?" - "Uhm uhmuhm..." "There was a letter in the post for you today. You were caught on speed camera. In Sinner's Town. What were you doing there?" - "Uhmuhmuhm..."

With every step you take, think of an excuse in advance. Who could notice what? What do I say if I am confronted with it? The simpler, more plausible and conceivable the excuse is, the better.

Only lie if absolutely necessary!

The more complicated your lies are, the more easy it is to give something away and the more likely it is that any inconsistencies will come out. Think about five big lies you told last year. It's difficult to think of them. And now think about it: you and your partner are watching TV and you say: "I know this film." - "How come, we didn't see it together." Did you go to the cinema with your fling? Perhaps you are not quite sure. Silly lies.

It would have been better to say at the time: "I went to the cinema today with some colleagues. Excellent film blablablabla..."

It's better to build your excuses on half truths than making up ridiculous stories. And if you must lie: write down your fibs!

Continue with:      advisor part 6: how to act with your regular partner

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